And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
