garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
