Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
