She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
