I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
