I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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