I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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