Yo dont text me then not text me
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
