I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
