Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
