I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
