..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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