Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
