I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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