I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
