we're blogging at a bar
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize