we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
