walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
