If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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