His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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