You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
