As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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