areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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