Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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