I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
