I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
