halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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