They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
