Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
