You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
