all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You ruined the universe
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
