If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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