I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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