Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
