"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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