i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
