You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
