Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
