google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
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