walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
