I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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