My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
