It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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