Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
