Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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