Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
