im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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