It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
