i don't like sucking hair
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
