nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
