How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
