Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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