Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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