i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
