Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
