Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
