I want to have your abortion
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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