i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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