I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
