That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
